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Feb 28 2012

My Happiness Commandments

by Holly

I’m a champion list-maker. I find the process of writing something down, doing it, and checking it off so incredibly satisfying. What I don’t enjoy, however, is that for every item I complete, three more seem to take its place. And there are only so many hours in a day. And I’m just one person. And . . . and . . . well, all that doing gets exhausting.

Ironically, for a good two-plus years, my someday-maybe list has included “draft my own happiness commandments, a la Gretchen Rubin.” (It’s amazing how many fun, meaningful things on the someday-maybe list get brushed aside in favor of practical, boring things–like laundry and taxes–isn’t it?)

Fast forward to today: I finally made the time to create my happiness commandments list. What I love most about this exercise is that there isn’t a single task in sight. Everything on the happiness commandments list is meant to stay on this list. To-bes, not to-dos. And while I do love drawing a line through all those completed tasks, I’m quite alright with letting these 12 items stand.

So, without further ado . . . my list.

  1. Everything counts.
  2. You don’t have to. You get to.
  3. Invest in love–and invest in life. (And vice versa.)
  4. Quality not quantity.
  5. Great–not just good.
  6. Avoid crinkly things.
  7. Just do it.
  8. No apologies, no regrets.
  9. Rest your head.
  10. Everything is a miracle.
  11. Flap your wings.
  12. Foresake comparison.

Like Lucy, there’s some ‘splainin to do on each of these. But for now, I can say that I’ve written my happinesss commandments–and cross that off of my to-do list.

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©2012 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because making lists–on heavy weight, wide-ruled paper with a fine point Sharpie pen (preferably blue)–makes me happy. (Photo by donireewalker via Creative Commons.)

 

 

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Feb 21 2012

Investment Advice, Good Karma Style

by Holly

Along with sending letters in the mail and talking on phones with a handset and a curly cord, I enjoy listening to the radio. I like the variety–and the live voice on the other end of the airwaves. And a few mornings ago, when I had the radio on while getting ready for work, two things caught my attention–a public service announcement and a song–both of which have been floating around in my head ever since.

“For each hour of regular exercise you get, you’ll gain about two hours of additional life expectancy.”
–American Heart Association

“Where you invest your love, you invest your life.”
–Mumford & Sons, “Awake My Soul”

Each thought is profound on its own. Invest in your life–for your heart’s sake. Invest in your heart–for your life’s sake. But together? They deliver a terrific jolt of present-moment awareness.

The secret to living the biggest, richest life possible? Hit the gym. Unroll your yoga mat. Chase the puck. Romp around the park with the dogs. Take a long walk. Speak from your heart. Pursue your dreams. Teach. Listen. Say I love you. Make the time. Rinse, lather, repeat.

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P.S. Here’s where you can find that stat from the American Heart Association–and a youtube link to “Awake My Soul.”

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©2012 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because it’s never to late to begin investing in yourself. (Photo by Makena G via Creative Commons.)

 

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Feb 1 2012

I’ve Been Waiting…

by Holly

To say it has been a busy year is an understatement. Though when isn’t it a busy year? Or week or day or evening . . .

Busy is fine. Good, even. I thrive on it. However, when being busy gets in the way of living–well, sometimes something’s gotta give. You can’t wait forever. You can’t keep saying, “when I have more time.” Oldest excuse in the book.

But what about when everything that’s on your plate belongs on your plate? Or maybe you just like having it there–wedged right in between this, that, that, and . . .um . . . the other thing. Sometimes, the only solution is to just add another course on to this feast that is life. Make room and dig in.

_________________________________________________________________________  © 2012 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because while patience might be a virtue, procrastination–not so much. (Photo by malfleen via Creative Commons.)

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Sep 29 2010

And the Net Will Appear

by Holly

What aren’t we doing?

I’m not talking about going to the gym or folding the laundry or flossing daily. I mean the big stuff. Life list material.

  • Writing that book
  • Performing in front of an audience
  • Painting landscapes
  • Opening a restaurant
  • Running a marathon

It’s fun to come up with these grand plans and share them with friends and loved ones. We see our enthusiasm reflected in their eyes and think to ourselves, for a moment, “Hey, I could actually do this!” These are the people who will be in the front row at our book signing, hang our art in their living room, frequenting our restaurant—so long as we take that first step.

Only we can bring about these dreams. If we wait for circumstances to be “just right,” these dreams will get buried in an avalanche of mundane things. Like doing bicep curls at the gym. Or pairing up your family’s clean socks. When you look back—weeks, months, years from now—the socks will mean nothing.

“But I’ve been so busy,” we’ll think. “How could I possibly have found the time to these things?” We’ll scold ourselves for being lazy, and then go back to the socks. There’ll always be more socks.

Guilt never works. What does work is understanding the why behind the inaction. And here’s what I’ve learned about what’s beneath the surface. (Hint: It has nothing to do with being lazy.)

It’s perfectionism.

Perfectionism is unattainable. It’s an inverted form of procrastination. If we can’t write a brilliant first chapter; paint a breathtaking, snow-dappled evergreen, or bring an audience to its feet—to the super-human standards that we’ve set for ourselves–then it’s just not worth the effort.

Perfectionists are about the all or nothing. We don’t have time for mediocrity. But we’re expert sock sorters, dish scrubbers, and dutiful gym-goers. We focus our perfectionism on the things that—in the grand scheme of things—don’t really matter.

So, how do we break this ingrained habit of perfectionism?

We leap. We strive for imperfection. We show up for ourselves and keep at it. We celebrate progress—no matter how it looks. We enjoy the journey.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? . . . Your playing small does not serve the world.”
                                                                  –Marianne Williamson

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© 2010 Good Karma Housekeeping. Because Yoda was right–you’ve just gotta do it. (Photo by David @ InternosPhoto.com via Creative Commons.)

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