It’s inevitable. Get a group of females together and before long the conversation will shift to one (or both) of the following topics: marriage and babies. Even still, after a decade-plus of answering these questions, they make me squirm. It’s exhausting being in the minority. Though I’ve noticed, the older I get, the more often I find that I’m not alone in choosing to sit out these rites of passage. And the more at ease I feel with these decisions.
There’s a line in one of my favorite movies, Good Will Hunting, where Will and Skylar are just about to make plans to go out on a date. Skylar says, “Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime,” and Will’s responds with “Great, or maybe we could go somewhere and just eat a bunch of caramels.” Their simple transaction so perfectly makes my point.
So often we gravitate toward doing things just because it sounds like the right thing to do–or because it’s what’s expected of you and the situation you’re in–not because it’s what we truly want to do. Why is that?
Had I fallen in love with someone else, I very well may have gone the marriage and babies route. Would it have been right for me? I’m inclined to think not. Not everybody’s a coffee drinker, so to speak. But that doesn’t make coffee bad. Or good. Though it sure is nice to have options.
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© 2009 Good Karma Housekeeping. Making the space–mentally and physically–to live happily ever after.
